The Secret
Tarot Reading

Similar in form to the Egyptian Cross, the final spread on the site is just what you are looking for, the Secret. Everybody who plays with tarot cards attempting to summon demons is looking for secrets. Of course they only desire this evil occult knowledge in order to 1-up their brothers. They do not love their brothers as themselves, or they would share the knowledge instead of use it to try to make people feel stupid. Oh the ignorance of their folly!

Like the Egyptian Cross spread, the Secret begins with 2 significators. In this case they are read as if they were crossed like in the Celtic Cross. Then above there are 3 chronological cards representing the past, present, and future. They are mystically labeled like the changing moon cycles, as the Secret comes from a dark place.

Cards #6 and 7 are labeled Dark and Light, Dark meaning the dark or emotional side of the issue, and Light conversely meaning the rational side of things. There is not really a final outcome, but there are 2 future cards to show the reader's dark fate, the "Waxing" card #4 already mentioned and the "Next Step" at the base of the spread. This is basically the outcome.

The final card, #9 is only considered part of the reading if it happens to be a Major Arcana card. Any Minor Arcana cards in this position only say that you didn't get a "Secret" this time. Maybe next time the devil's high priestess will be more generous.

A lion's head oversees the tarot deck's card of love. In the tarot deck there are men who are stage performers who dress almost in drag as a part of the act. Besides the obvious implications, we can dismiss this aspect of the card as nothing but the perverse style of evildoers.

The picture shows a young man and woman on a date. They took the day to share a romantic walk in the park. It is obvious by the way that they look at each other what they are thinking. They take a moment to toast to their love.

As they symbolically share a drink, the sign of their union appears between the cups. Twisting around the pole are 2 snakes that resemble a strand of DNA. It doesn't take a genious to figure out what these two are planning. We can only hope that they do the right thing and get married first.

Upright keywords: love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, desire, intercourse

A young man focuses on his wicked accomplishment. His full attention belongs to this satanic possession. The pentagram could represent any kind of satanic connection that he may have. The one thing that is certain about it is that he considers it his prize possession. But the sad truth is that the man's possessions actually end up owning him.

The maker of this tarot deck happened to be the same occultist who wrote The Book of Black Magic. When Aleister Crowley was considered the wickedest man in the world, A.E. Waite was the one who actually wrote about black magic. Other occultists of their time were overshadowed by these 2, who only represent the tip of the iceberg.

The young man looks and acts wimpy and effeminate in his girly clothes, but upon closer inspection we notice this guy's guns. He is a muscleman who cloaks his powerhouse physique in weak mannerisms. His gender-bending style is grotesque and disturbing. He could be a performer, which explains why he is so flamboyant.

Upright keywords: application, study, scholarship, reflection, news, messager, rule, management

The Fool is exactly what you are if you are using tarot cards. This card appears as a warning that you are in danger. You better be careful. You could go right over the edge. If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

On top of his complete disregard for the dangers that he tempts, the Fool is obviously a homosexual who is careless even when it comes to committing bestiality. He prances around like a faerie wishing that he could fall into the lap of a big macho man on his descent into debauchery.

The warning this card signifies should be heeded with extreme caution lest you end up falling into a bottomless pit with hell fire and brimstone at the bottom. You had better straighten up your ways too. Just because everybody is gay these days doesn't mean that the LORD has changed the law. Go put on some pants, weirdo.

Upright keywords: careless, flighty, hair-brained, dreamy, wreckless, happy, aloof, happy

The wicked queen's throne is decked out with satanic symbols. She holds the pentagram in her lap as if symbolically to love and nourish the antichrist. She may indeed represent the mother of the antichrist, the scarlet woman. She certainly dresses just like her.

She is fully focused on her evil intentions, whatever the abomination she holds so dear may be. The card is is sign of a woman in love with the devil. However disgusting the wretched thing she loves may seem to other people, to her it's her baby. It means the world to her.

The sun is about to set in her wild kingdom. The vine of roses shows that she is overflowing with love. Unfortuantely though she may have the best of intentions, every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn. Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.

Reversed keywords: evil, suspicion, suspense, fear, distrust, paranoid, disrespect, cowardice

The woman on this card is the wife of the Pope of tarot land. Of course the Pope is known as the Hierophant in tarot. She holds the Tora scroll and is regarded as the keeper of the female side of the secrets of creation. Obviously she is not to be trusted.

She is crowned with an Egyptian moon goddess head dress and she has the moon at her feet. There are strong connotations to the female reproductive cycle, and disturbingly obvious oral implications.

This card shows a woman who has no consideration for the sanctity of marriage and will perform and/or accept immoral favors at the drop of a few coins. She holds a sensual mystique that can overpower a man's senses and make him guilty of ungodly things.

Reversed keywords: whore, slut, harlot, prostitute, witch, succubus, sinister, dark communications

Adam and Eve after their fall from ignorance are pictured on the Devil card. Under his watch they are chained up like dogs. This is the fate that the Devil wants for all of us, but lucky for us Jesus Christ is our saviour. They have taken on the traits of the Devil under his influence. They are subject to their lower nature which the Devil delights in, having kidnapped God's children.

Arthur Edward Waite, the occultist who masterminded the most infamous version of the tarot deck in history, was known to be a black magician who encouraged grave robbing and other such unthinkable crimes. He wrote all about how to do it in The Book of Black Magic.

The Devil has come to enslave you. He wants to make you a deal you can't refuse so that you wind up selling him your birthright. The Devil feasts on the souls of ignorant fools who play with tarot cards thinking they are going to one-up their fellow men. These methods only work in the short term and are certain to come crashing down on you in the end, much like the next card.

Upright keywords: obedience, slavery, servitude, oppression, carnal desires, petty concerns

A girly man talks to a fish in his cup. Clearly somebody has had one too many. Delirium sets in as he starts tripping. The evil that is associated with this card is possession. Spirits that possess a soul may be invited by drinking, drugs, or other forms of personal experimentation. Such experiments always blow up in the person's face.

The fish emerging from the cup is actually an holy sign with dual implications. He holds the Holy Grail, which of course contains the Jesus fish. The cup symbolically holds the essence of Christ, the spirit of holy self-sacrifice.

The fish is probably telling the guy on this card that he dresses like a fruit and needs to be a man. He might think he knows himself, but he is not aware of God's plan for him. He better listen to the fish if he knows what's good for him.

Upright keywords: dreams, imagination, fantasy, figment, head trip, fancy, invention

The Emperor confidently bosses everybody around while his wife hires other men to fill the role he does not fill at home. He lounges around more concerned with examining the quality of his own concubines than he is with the fact that his wife has needs of her own.

This man has a lot of power but has lost touch with the LORD's law in favor of humoring a spiritual belief in the law he has invented himself. This delusional fellow thinks that he is God and likewise that he is your boss.

You had better be careful when dealing with this guy because he really believes in himself, and therefore he is a psychopath. Let him have his hookers. The LORD will recompense the unjust.

Reversed keywords: self-important, egotistical, conceited, domineering, cocky, smug, overbearing

On the sixth card of the suit, the battle of the previous card has apparently been settled and there is now unity. After the 5 fools beat themselves up, one opportunist took control of the situation. This master of chaos has the power to control the fury of 5 psychotic satanists. Beware of the harbinger of woe.

An army of angry devil worshipers is the worst thing we've come across yet. Where ever this card falls, there is tons of trouble brewing up fast and furious. If you know how to stir this pot, it's time to do that and get away quick.

Notice how the master holds a staff of peace, but the only peace is the peace between devil worshipers. This is most unfortunate because now they are armed in unity. Whatever you do, don't mistake the wreath on his staff as an offer of peace. He may wave it like a white flag, but he is a follower of the master of lies.

Reversed keywords: apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, betrayal, indefinite delay, procrastination