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The Relationship Tarot Reading

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The Relationship Spread

The Relationship

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

The Relationship Reading

  You   Other Person
King of Swords
7 of Cups
Page of Wands

The Wheel of Fortune

The Hierophant
(external appearance)

7 of Swords
Page of Swords


The Wheel of Fortune

This card is full of evil Egyptian pagan symbolism to blaspheme the guardians of the garden. The 4 symbolic creatures clearly reflect the visions of cherubs by Old Testament prophets. The Wheel in the sky contains Hebrew characters written around a blasphemous occult sigil that looks to be out of the Necronomicon.

The Sphinx sits on top of the Wheel as the blasphemous serpent sidewinds down the left side. Riding up the other side of the buttocks of the devil Set is the Wheel of Fortune.

This Wheel is supposed to represent fate and karma. It seems that the forces of evil have taken the Wheel while the cherubs were busy studying the Bible.

Upright keywords: karma, fate, destiny, augury, prophecy, omen, providence, fortune


Your Thoughts

King of Swords

This is a man who thinks he knows it all. Just because of his above average intelligence, the devil tells him that he is the smartest man alive. Consequentially he continually outsmarts himself. He insults his subjects that he hopes to teach and generally does unintentional harm in the name of good due to the sharp blade he carelessly wields.

The proverbial know-it-all has the sign of the butterfly on his throne. Also birds in the distant sky make the card symbolic of his mind being like an open sky, his thought flighty. It is fertile ground for unclean thoughts when a man's mind is too open.

An open mind invites evil deeds. Butterflies are like the way he quickly dodges any kind of accusation. They also show that he is very nervous in his demeanor, a guy who is constantly thinking. Unfortunately like his queen, his thoughts are ultimately destructive.

Reversed keywords: cruelty, vulgar, perverse, barbarian, perfidy, evil intention, malice, crude

Their Thoughts

7 of Cups

The villian in this card moves with the subtlty of a shadow. Dressed in all black, he is seen here contemplating his heist. It is not clear whether the burglary has actually went down yet or whether he is just planning it, but it matters not. When one has just a thought about committing a crime, it is the same thing as having done the deed.

The man in black is a thief in the night. He lays up a treasure for himself as if it will wait for him in heaven, when in reality the pleasure of it is fleeting. Any satisfaction that the riches bring him are tainted by the way that he acquired them.

We see the apparent problems that come with ill-gotten gains in some of the cups. A dragon and a snake are familiar signs of the evil he has done coming back to him. From the central cup of focus emerges a person dressed as a phallic ghost, a strong reminder that the spirits are watching the person who would do this, who is a total jerk.

Upright keywords: dreams, reflection, sentiment, imagination, visions in the crystal ball, mirage


Your Emotions

Page of Wands

The questionable attire that this guy flamboyantly flaunts makes me wonder about him. It's been a very extremely long time since it's been fashionable for men to wear tights in public. He lustfully gazes at the peak of the staff as he holds it in his hands like a baby. What a strange fellow he is.

He wears a derby with a prominent feather to symbolize that he is an accomplished individual, despite his appearance. He may in fact be merely eccentric because of the feather in his cap. Maybe that's why he's so happy that he prances around like Peter Pan.

It is obvious that he is a proud man. He is so proud in fact that he flaunts his style topping off flaming boots and tight tights by wearing a dress and even a cape! He is a performer, that's the reason why he dresses like that, it's just part of his job. What a strange job indeed.

Upright keywords: faithful, lover, envoy, messenger, announcements, news, dedication, duty

Their Emotions

The Hierophant

The card you see here is the Pope of the tarot trumps. He is the man who has the keys to the male secrets of creation. As the leader of the church, he is a symbol for all that is good in the tarot deck. Though his wife is a pagan heathen harlot, he is not supposed to have a wife. What? Something is wrong here. Anyway, he's supposed to be like the president of heaven, so maybe the B and J pillars are symbolic of his fate.

His minions do his bidding, and they are known to have some pretty funky hairdos. This guy is basically like the Emperor, worrying more about telling people what to do than taking care of personal issues. Of course his sphere of power is different, as he governs the laws of God.

Reversed keywords: know it all, puffed up, windbag, full of hot air, false prophet, bad news, knowledge of evil


Your Facade

7 of Swords

A thief looks over his shoulder as he makes away with 5 of 7 swords. Just like the 10 of Wands, their owners were having supper. This heist is not as easy as grabbing 10 wands though. Swords are a lot harder to carry so he can only manage 5 of them. He treads lightly, knowing that anybody in those tents might notice their sword or their friend's walking away.

He is tiptoeing away from the scene of the crime, wishing that he was invisible. In Waite's Book of Black Magic, criminals are encouraged to do heinous spells of unimaginable evil. Waite, the maker of this tarot deck was a sinister occultist who was one of the most notorious proponents of evil that the world has ever known.

Knowing just a little about the twisted mind of Waite, we may assume that the fez-like cap the thief dons is most likely his hat of invisibility. The pathetic spell that the man must perform to even become invisible requires a night in the grave yard, where he must dig up a corpse and steal its hand, which then of course he puts in his pocket for good luck when he does crimes.

Reversed keywords: thief, violation, criminal, get away, burglary, heist, gambling, loss

Their Facade

Page of Swords

A swift runner rides a wave of expedience. He skates across the top of the land as if it were ice, making it look easy. He is active and aware. He must be on full alert because his enemies could come at him from any direction at any time.

This guy is a real jerk, which should be fairly obvious due to his apparent lack of friends and abundance of enemies. He is quick witted and sinister in his insults. He takes pleasure not only in other people's misfortunes, but in selfishly having caused their misfortune himself.

He is paranoid because that's the position he puts himself in. Ordinary people spend their lives avoiding tense situations. The Page of Swords spends his life getting into tense situations. He is a born troublemaker.

Reversed keywords: unprovoked, blindsided, cowardice, sneak attack, hit from behind, Pearl Harbor

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