The Relationship Tarot Reading

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

The knight charges into battle ready to strike. This card suggests an extreme quarrel or fight. If it is supposed to mean a person, he is a man of action. Unfortunately his actions are totally destructive. He is up to no good. His mission of mayhem may have a mastermind behind it though.

An evil genius could possibly be sending this guy as muscle. The brains of the operation sends this guy to do the dirty work. Whatever the problem, we find this guy is sombody's problem solver. Even if the knight's mission is personal, he is there to do harm.

The position this card comes up in may show a brutal battle. An oppressive power rides in to take control by force. In his mind the ends justify the means, allowing him to convince himself that the excessive violence of his warpath is actually for the greater good!

Reversed keywords: aggressive, violent, battle, combat, derision, ruin, hypocracy, imperialism

A thief looks over his shoulder as he makes away with 5 of 7 swords. Just like the 10 of Wands, their owners were having supper. This heist is not as easy as grabbing 10 wands though. Swords are a lot harder to carry so he can only manage 5 of them. He treads lightly, knowing that anybody in those tents might notice their sword or their friend's walking away.

He is tiptoeing away from the scene of the crime, wishing that he was invisible. In Waite's Book of Black Magic, criminals are encouraged to do heinous spells of unimaginable evil. Waite, the maker of this tarot deck was a sinister occultist who was one of the most notorious proponents of evil that the world has ever known.

Knowing just a little about the twisted mind of Waite, we may assume that the fez-like cap the thief dons is most likely his hat of invisibility. The pathetic spell that the man must perform to even become invisible requires a night in the grave yard, where he must dig up a corpse and steal its hand, which then of course he puts in his pocket for good luck when he does crimes.

Upright keywords: design, attempt, wish, hope, confidence, also quarrelling, slander, babbling

A lion's head oversees the tarot deck's card of love. In the tarot deck there are men who are stage performers who dress almost in drag as a part of the act. Besides the obvious implications, we can dismiss this aspect of the card as nothing but the perverse style of evildoers.

The picture shows a young man and woman on a date. They took the day to share a romantic walk in the park. It is obvious by the way that they look at each other what they are thinking. They take a moment to toast to their love.

As they symbolically share a drink, the sign of their union appears between the cups. Twisting around the pole are 2 snakes that resemble a strand of DNA. It doesn't take a genious to figure out what these two are planning. We can only hope that they do the right thing and get married first.

Upright keywords: love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, desire, intercourse

The wicked queen's throne is decked out with satanic symbols. She holds the pentagram in her lap as if symbolically to love and nourish the antichrist. She may indeed represent the mother of the antichrist, the scarlet woman. She certainly dresses just like her.

She is fully focused on her evil intentions, whatever the abomination she holds so dear may be. The card is is sign of a woman in love with the devil. However disgusting the wretched thing she loves may seem to other people, to her it's her baby. It means the world to her.

The sun is about to set in her wild kingdom. The vine of roses shows that she is overflowing with love. Unfortuantely though she may have the best of intentions, every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn. Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.

Reversed keywords: evil, suspicion, suspense, fear, distrust, paranoid, disrespect, cowardice

On the sixth card of the suit, the battle of the previous card has apparently been settled and there is now unity. After the 5 fools beat themselves up, one opportunist took control of the situation. This master of chaos has the power to control the fury of 5 psychotic satanists. Beware of the harbinger of woe.

An army of angry devil worshipers is the worst thing we've come across yet. Where ever this card falls, there is tons of trouble brewing up fast and furious. If you know how to stir this pot, it's time to do that and get away quick.

Notice how the master holds a staff of peace, but the only peace is the peace between devil worshipers. This is most unfortunate because now they are armed in unity. Whatever you do, don't mistake the wreath on his staff as an offer of peace. He may wave it like a white flag, but he is a follower of the master of lies.

Upright keywords: celebration, victory, triumph, spoils of war, conquest, on parade

The Empress gets to lounge around all day by the pool on her luxiurious outdoor lazy boy in her pajamas. She just hangs out talking on her state of the art cell phone when she's not on her laptop, playing video games, or watching TV. She is like the definition of sloth, having no job nor serving any useful and holsum service in the world.

Her luxury estate is high on the hill. She is queen of the bachlorette party once a month, even though nobody ever really gets married. The more you get to know about this woman, the more layers of sin become uncovered. Her husband is a lucky man indeed.

Reversed keywords: lazy, useless, couch potato, lotus eater, slacker, condescending, sponge, good-for-nothing

What is the first thing you notice about this card? Is it her unladylike stance, or the black cat between her legs? She seems to project an openly generous attitude, as if offering the sunflower in her left hand as a gift. A sunflower is a very positive symbol, but a black cat is blocking your path.

Everybody knows that black cats mean bad luck when they cross your path. Even though she looks like she offers a treasure, you know it comes with a price. If you accept her generosity, you will also accept a curse of bad luck.

She appears to be a very authoritative lady. She has generally the same character traits as her matching king, but with a less intimidating quality that comes with her charisma. Just be careful what comes with her gifts.

Upright keywords: economical, obliging, usable, friendly, chaste, loving, honourable, successful