The Relationship Tarot Reading

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

'Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.'

This is a card of catastrophe. The LORD strikes down vain attempts to become His equal. This is what the Devil of the previous card taught you to do. This is what Eve was thinking when the serpent told her the fruit was good. This is vanity.

Lightning strikes the crowned Tower that so aggressively penetrated the heavens. Upon closer inspection we see the Tower here actually symbolizes the penis. This perverted card shows the action of this organ symbolically through the Tower.

Reversed keywords: destruction, upheaval, chaos, rage, fury, vengeance, catastrophe, serious serious injury

A young man focuses on his wicked accomplishment. His full attention belongs to this satanic possession. The pentagram could represent any kind of satanic connection that he may have. The one thing that is certain about it is that he considers it his prize possession. But the sad truth is that the man's possessions actually end up owning him.

The maker of this tarot deck happened to be the same occultist who wrote The Book of Black Magic. When Aleister Crowley was considered the wickedest man in the world, A.E. Waite was the one who actually wrote about black magic. Other occultists of their time were overshadowed by these 2, who only represent the tip of the iceberg.

The young man looks and acts wimpy and effeminate in his girly clothes, but upon closer inspection we notice this guy's guns. He is a muscleman who cloaks his powerhouse physique in weak mannerisms. His gender-bending style is grotesque and disturbing. He could be a performer, which explains why he is so flamboyant.

Upright keywords: application, study, scholarship, reflection, news, messager, rule, management

Reversed keywords: prodigality, dissipation, liberality, luxury, leak, unfavourable news, commencement

The villian in this card moves with the subtlty of a shadow. Dressed in all black, he is seen here contemplating his heist. It is not clear whether the burglary has actually went down yet or whether he is just planning it, but it matters not. When one has just a thought about committing a crime, it is the same thing as having done the deed.

The man in black is a thief in the night. He lays up a treasure for himself as if it will wait for him in heaven, when in reality the pleasure of it is fleeting. Any satisfaction that the riches bring him are tainted by the way that he acquired them.

We see the apparent problems that come with ill-gotten gains in some of the cups. A dragon and a snake are familiar signs of the evil he has done coming back to him. From the central cup of focus emerges a person dressed as a phallic ghost, a strong reminder that the spirits are watching the person who would do this, who is a total jerk.

Upright keywords: dreams, reflection, sentiment, imagination, visions in the crystal ball, mirage

A man takes his family on a lamentful journey. They could be going to a funeral or maybe just to the store. All the card says is the trip they are taking will be no fun.

The picture is like a recreation of the River Styx, with the father acting as the ferryman for his wife and son. All of the swords in the boat are representative of sorrow weighing heavy. The swords are excess baggage that they carry. It could also mean that they have become aware of things they should not have.

Flat calm waters are perfectly still except for their wake. A pale gray sky looms over this card which depicts a lengthly awkward silence.

Reversed keywords: bad trip, nightmare, rollercoaster, bummer, drag, downer, misfortune

Twice the evil is twice the fun. Also twice the trouble. This joker balances 2 pentagrams, waving his arms like the sea. His perverted sexual innuendo likens himself to a human penis. I will not explain the depraved meanings of his solo dance routine, so not to glorify his self-abuse. It is better not to give this desperate, depraved fool any attention.

He likens the sea to a giant body of flowing semen. This is noticable as he mimics the high tide with his enormous testicles. There is no mistake about it, not wearing that giant condom top hat. The card clearly represents the male mating dance ritual.

The man might be a male stripper as the party clown. There's a better chance that it is just some pathetic chronic masturbator though, a sick soul lustfully devouring itself. Whatever the case, the card is all about a guy with sex on the brain, wearing a condom hat as if his thoughts were erect.

Upright keywords: gaiety, recreation, writing, obstacles, agitation, trouble, embroilment

Only 5 ranks into the suit of Wands, mankind has already ensured its own downfall. Instead of turning the other cheek and loving their neighbors, man seeks vengeance as a source of pleasure. His lust for blood culminates in war, which is what we have here. This is the card of war and aggression.

What has actually happened is that man has avoided the LORD's commandments and forsaken His wisdom. The LORD knows that man's nature is perpetually evil, which is why He keeps warning us. Here the problem is that things have gone too far. Too many men are now opening the gates of hell, to the point where it even seems to become commonplace.

The competion has actually gotten so fierce that bedlam has erupted. Chaos ensues in an apocalyptic battle where it's every man for himself. This card means there is a big fight in the position it appears in the spread.

Upright keywords: fight, battle, strife, opposition, war, aggression, competition, greed

A nude woman has one foot on the ground and the other on the sea, like in Temperance. In fact she may be pouring out the elixers concocted in that card. She pours these two jugs out onto the land and the sea.

She is the Star empowered by Lucifer as indicated by the morning star above her. She is the servant of the figure in Temperance who reaps the fruit of the labor of Temperance. She steals the mixtures, pouring them out she symbolically intoxicates both the land and the fish.

She is only the Star because she is the one that got caught doing it. Noboby will probably ever find out who mixed the drinks because the Star isn't talking. She refuses to share the spotlight that she worked so hard to steal.

Upright keywords: diva, prima-donna, superstar, leading lady, headline, main event