The Relationship Tarot Reading

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

This guy apparently runs his mouth too much for his own good. He is in a position where he thinks it's alright to come down on everybody. But he quickly learns that nobody likes that. He has put himself in a position where it's 6 on 1. His chances don't look good.

So recently he was in charge, taking so much pride in his command of the others. But one too many insults has ruined the moment. Now he is at the mercy of those who he has offended. Unfortunately they are furious with his bad attitude. Fortunately they do not have stones.

Where this card appears there is someone whose arrogance has been very annoying to more than a few others. He is so obnoxious that they have ganged up on him to remove him from his lofty position. One thing is certain, he will not be commanding this group again without a miracle.

Upright keywords: valour, discussion, strife; negotiations, debate, barter, competition, success

The World card tempts the reader with a vision of the gate of the Garden of Eden. The temptation is none other than an erotic dancer caught in the moment as she shamelessly flaunts her nakedness like the Whore of Babylon. The blasphemous depiction of the cherubs does not even need to be mentioned.

She twirls flaming sticks in her fingers as she seduces her master's flock in a debauched pagan satanic ritual intended to excite the members of his perverse congregation. The use of the voluptuous woman as an alter of flesh to the devil is also known as the Black Mass. The World wants you to sell your soul to its master the Devil.

The World is an illusion that is placed there to tempt us with what we know that the LORD told us not to do, even though it seems like the thing that you want the most. But the matrix is a mirage. How can one truly enter a false image?

Upright keywords: entirety, lock stock and barrel, aggregate, total, universal, fullness, wholeness

This card shows a guy with too much time on his hands. Idleness leads to boredom, which leads to bad thoughts for the heart of man is concerned with nothing but evil perpetually. The guy tells himself how much more accurate his game of darts becomes with every passing drink.

The guy believes that wine and strong drink actually gives him an edge, making him a better man. He would drown in his own self-deceit if he weren't sitting on top of an high hill. Folding his arms and legs in a stubborn stance, he believes himself to be enlightened.

He imagines the toxic swill he ingests to be the blessing of the Holy Grail. A hand emerges from an imaginary cloud once again issuing a cup. The man is caught up in his own folly, deceiving himself at every turn.

Upright keywords: weariness, disgust, aversion, paranoia, vexations, delusion, self-exalted

Twice the evil is twice the fun. Also twice the trouble. This joker balances 2 pentagrams, waving his arms like the sea. His perverted sexual innuendo likens himself to a human penis. I will not explain the depraved meanings of his solo dance routine, so not to glorify his self-abuse. It is better not to give this desperate, depraved fool any attention.

He likens the sea to a giant body of flowing semen. This is noticable as he mimics the high tide with his enormous testicles. There is no mistake about it, not wearing that giant condom top hat. The card clearly represents the male mating dance ritual.

The man might be a male stripper as the party clown. There's a better chance that it is just some pathetic chronic masturbator though, a sick soul lustfully devouring itself. Whatever the case, the card is all about a guy with sex on the brain, wearing a condom hat as if his thoughts were erect.

Reversed keywords: gaiety, simulated pleasure, logical sense, writing, composition, exchanging letters

This is a card of harm and injury. Hobbling past the blasphemous stained glass window of the satanic church, 2 dejected souls freeze their toes in the snow. Desolation, hurt, pain and suffering are the essence of this card, one of the tarot deck's most evil omens.

They have been banished. Cut off from among their people, these 2 are permanently damaged by their own follies. The harm they have caused others comes back to them. The devil's church is right there to remind them that they are that close to the fire.

It seems like the ultimate torture knowing that it could all be so easy if they just gave up and went inside. But they are strong and determined, tough enough to make it through the cold night. They are well aware that they must endure the pain if they want to go to heaven.

Upright keywords: destitution, desparation, poverty, misfortune, hard times, recession, unemployment

The 8 of Swords is a card of cruelty, bondage, and suffering. A blindfolded woman has been abducted and tied up. She stands upon the sandy forks of the delta, where the river meets the sea. She is surrounded by the 8 swords to remind her that she isn't going anywhere. In the distance a castle sits atop a high hill by the seaside.

This is a card of certain evil. Someone may have performed an evil love spell of bondage. It is not love if it seeks to capture and enslave. This is sin. It is also folly. One can not possess another person. Any desire to do such is wickedness.

It is a sign of oppression and interference. The castle on the shore taunts her with the vision of an unattainable paradise. Of course she can't see it being blindfolded, but she can certainly hear it. She is bound to her evil ways.

Upright keywords: harm, hurt, pain, possession, blindness, ignorance, masochism, torture

The angel in this card is mixing strong drink. The triangle on his robe represents fire, and it is also a sign of alchemy. This enlightened figure looks like the guy who was crucified in the name of Satan on the Hanged Man card. Dipping his injured toes into the soothing pool confirms our suspicion. He was tied up by the same foot in the previous scenario.

We also notice that he's the same angel that appeared on the Lovers card. This guy seems to be a very important figure in the play of the tarot cards. He is apparently a messenger of the LORD, as we can see his face is like the sun.

Upright keywords: healing, rest, regrouping, recovery, restoration, fortification, rebuilding