The Relationship Tarot Reading

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

With 3 wands, long staffs here, the guy in this card dares to set up a ceremonial ritual for the devil. He sets up the 3 staffs in a way as to form a doorway. He goes into character as the devil's mime, and his insane intentions are to open this imaginary door, which is in his reality a gateway to hell.

The guy in this card has become adept at black magic and should be avoided by all who wish to remain pure. He has become a master of illusion and corruption as the third rank of the suit of Wands. He has become like the devil himself, and holds the power of temptation because he has the power to manipulate reality, though he is only a legend in his own mind.

Still, the position that this card falls is a strong indicator of where the devil has sent a powerful warlock to do his bidding. The thing about conspiracy though is that it's done quietly so that it is sometimes hard to notice. Whatever position of a spread that gets this card is in peril of having all hell break loose.

Upright keywords: established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery

This card shows a wealthy woman posing in the midst of her vinyard. She is a person who has enough money that she has money working for her, but this is also what cuts her off from reality. Her own possessions are responsible for her isolation. The more they tell her what she wants to hear, the more she believes.

Everything about this scene suggests self deception, from the grape vine to the pentagrams to the parrot. Parrots only repeat what they've heard. When you keep telling youself something, you will eventually come to believe it. Obviously this does not make it any more true than before, it only makes you delusional.

The grapes and satanic sigils represent evil being intoxicating. Self deception is the same thing as following the devil's advice. It may be a lot more comfortable though, at least for the time being, to live in such luxury. The only danger is the truth that it could wash away her facade as suddenly as a sand castle at high tide.

Upright keywords: prudence, safety, success, accomplishment, certitude, discernment, advice

The Hermit is an old man who has spent too much time in the mountains talking to himself. He has clearly lost touch with reality following his own light instead of the light of Jesus. He delusionally believes himself to be God. Malnutrition is sinking in and he hasn't even cut his own hair in years.

The guy is just a loser, actually less that a loser because he quit the whole game of life. Yet he goes off to some fictional mountaintop where he is king of the world. He is master of all he sees, but his vision is skewed.

This card is much like the third trump, the Empress in its representation of Sloth as a coveted treasure. The only difference is that she is rich and he is a bum.

Reversed keywords: loser, bum, crazy, drunk, talking to yourself, hopeless, Boo Radley, reclusive, mountain man

This is a man who thinks he knows it all. Just because of his above average intelligence, the devil tells him that he is the smartest man alive. Consequentially he continually outsmarts himself. He insults his subjects that he hopes to teach and generally does unintentional harm in the name of good due to the sharp blade he carelessly wields.

The proverbial know-it-all has the sign of the butterfly on his throne. Also birds in the distant sky make the card symbolic of his mind being like an open sky, his thought flighty. It is fertile ground for unclean thoughts when a man's mind is too open.

An open mind invites evil deeds. Butterflies are like the way he quickly dodges any kind of accusation. They also show that he is very nervous in his demeanor, a guy who is constantly thinking. Unfortunately like his queen, his thoughts are ultimately destructive.

Upright keywords: power, command, authority, law, rank, presence, military intelligence, respect

This is the card of intoxication and the depravity it spreads. Alcohol is a tool of the devil. Alcohol contains demons that eventually take full possession of the soul when enough is injested. Throughout all history and even before recorded history, alcohol has always been the most popular method of inducing demonic possession.

The husbandman is a perveyor of perversion. Like the vine pictured on the card, it spreads outward like a plague growing in all directions. Pentagrams, the universal symbol of Satan, decorate the vine like a Christmas tree.

The grape vine is one of the best signs to represent evil because they share the same capacity for growth and corruption. The husbandman must carefully restrict the vine's growth just to maintain order. The husbandman may represent an alcoholic or a bartender, someone who manages alcohol.

Upright keywords: money, business, barter, innocence, ingenuity, purgation, enginuity

The wicked queen's throne is decked out with satanic symbols. She holds the pentagram in her lap as if symbolically to love and nourish the antichrist. She may indeed represent the mother of the antichrist, the scarlet woman. She certainly dresses just like her.

She is fully focused on her evil intentions, whatever the abomination she holds so dear may be. The card is is sign of a woman in love with the devil. However disgusting the wretched thing she loves may seem to other people, to her it's her baby. It means the world to her.

The sun is about to set in her wild kingdom. The vine of roses shows that she is overflowing with love. Unfortuantely though she may have the best of intentions, every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn. Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.

Upright keywords: opulence, generous, magnificent, security, liberty, caressing, nurturing, motherly

'Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.'

This is a card of catastrophe. The LORD strikes down vain attempts to become His equal. This is what the Devil of the previous card taught you to do. This is what Eve was thinking when the serpent told her the fruit was good. This is vanity.

Lightning strikes the crowned Tower that so aggressively penetrated the heavens. Upon closer inspection we see the Tower here actually symbolizes the penis. This perverted card shows the action of this organ symbolically through the Tower.

Upright keywords: meaningless sex, lust, shame, loss, setback, wastefulness, unholy, Tower of Babel