The Horse Shoe Tarot Reading

This spread is the devil's word. He tricks us with cute good luck symbols which are in reality just godless attempts to manufacture one's own luck with the aid of superstitious heretical nonsense.

The Horse Shoe is a more in-depth spread than the 3 card version of the Past, Present, and Future, adding 4 extra cards to form the shape of an horse shoe. Essentially the spread works the same way though. Cards #1, 2, and 7 show the chronological past, present, and future as it plays out.

In this spread, card #3 hints at the evil occult influences that are allegedly haunting your path forward. This card is a warning and could signify the devil or demon that is on your back. The top card, the Obstacle is read in conjunction with card #3 to help determine who or what the enemy is. This is the card that shows what stands is your way, what must be overcome.

The next card, #5 should also be added to the mix of the 2 prior cards in the interpretation of who the enemy is. This card has more to do with the environment and who is there watching your struggle. It may be a friend, or possibly an enemy. Next card #6 comes along to conveniently suggest the course of action. The number 6 is the number of man, but also the number of evil. Naturally the devil knows what lies in the vile heart of man.

This guy apparently runs his mouth too much for his own good. He is in a position where he thinks it's alright to come down on everybody. But he quickly learns that nobody likes that. He has put himself in a position where it's 6 on 1. His chances don't look good.

So recently he was in charge, taking so much pride in his command of the others. But one too many insults has ruined the moment. Now he is at the mercy of those who he has offended. Unfortunately they are furious with his bad attitude. Fortunately they do not have stones.

Where this card appears there is someone whose arrogance has been very annoying to more than a few others. He is so obnoxious that they have ganged up on him to remove him from his lofty position. One thing is certain, he will not be commanding this group again without a miracle.

Upright keywords: valour, discussion, strife; negotiations, debate, barter, competition, success

Now you've done it. The LORD has sent His angel to blast a loud horn in your ears. A bunch of naked zombies will emgerge from their tombs on the day of Judgement. This is the time when you'll pray that the mountains should fall on you to hide you from the fierce wrath of the LORD. But it's your own fault things have turned out this way so you will just have to face the music.

Unfortunately the music for you will be a horn so loud, so annoying that you will pray the LORD strikes you deaf, but the horn does not stop blowing. Time freezes but you are the only one that seems to notice. At some point you realize that this is never going to end. It finally dawns on you that you should have never read those damn tarot cards. But it's too late now.

Upright keywords: caught cheating, guilt, correction, manifestation, recompensation, fulfillment, redemption

The Fool is exactly what you are if you are using tarot cards. This card appears as a warning that you are in danger. You better be careful. You could go right over the edge. If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

On top of his complete disregard for the dangers that he tempts, the Fool is obviously a homosexual who is careless even when it comes to committing bestiality. He prances around like a faerie wishing that he could fall into the lap of a big macho man on his descent into debauchery.

The warning this card signifies should be heeded with extreme caution lest you end up falling into a bottomless pit with hell fire and brimstone at the bottom. You had better straighten up your ways too. Just because everybody is gay these days doesn't mean that the LORD has changed the law. Go put on some pants, weirdo.

Upright keywords: careless, flighty, hair-brained, dreamy, wreckless, happy, aloof, happy

This card shows a guy with too much time on his hands. Idleness leads to boredom, which leads to bad thoughts for the heart of man is concerned with nothing but evil perpetually. The guy tells himself how much more accurate his game of darts becomes with every passing drink.

The guy believes that wine and strong drink actually gives him an edge, making him a better man. He would drown in his own self-deceit if he weren't sitting on top of an high hill. Folding his arms and legs in a stubborn stance, he believes himself to be enlightened.

He imagines the toxic swill he ingests to be the blessing of the Holy Grail. A hand emerges from an imaginary cloud once again issuing a cup. The man is caught up in his own folly, deceiving himself at every turn.

Upright keywords: weariness, disgust, aversion, paranoia, vexations, delusion, self-exalted

This particular Queen has the worst reputation of all the suits. She is known to rip people apart with caculated insults intended to strip people of their self-respect, utterly demoralizing them. She runs people down unmercifully and does not quit until she has broken their wills. She is like a dark cloud that ruins your whole day.

She plants the seed of psychosis in her victim's mind and then hatefully fuels its rapid growth. This is a dark sign of deep depression. High pressure so overly high that it depresses the pressure and the poor person ends up depressed, down in the dumps.

The power of the sword that she holds over your head is to do harm. The person in this card takes great satisfaction in the misery of her subjects. Her madness knows no bounds, and can easily progress well beyond the definition of torture.

Reversed keywords: malice, bigotry, artifice, prudery, bale, deceit, tricks, ignorance, emotional damage, intent to harm

The warlock who opened the gate of Hell in the previous card, with the devil's blessing, has succeeded brilliantly. Without warning we stumble upon, of all debaucheries, the gay parade! In a world gone wild with rampant abomination of things such as tarot readings being considered alright, anything goes. How quicky does mankind sink into its own vile pits, only four ranks into the suit.

They welcome us to the parade with open arms as happy as can be. But it is the devil's parade, and what is the devil's parade but hell on earth? The tarot deck is full of such warnings, but there's always somebody who just has to violate the warning. The sad part is that he ruins it for all of us.

Now the devil's army marches proudly down the street bearing the symbols of peace and love. They take the things we hold closest to our heart and pervert it with unspeakable blasphemy. When the devil's army marches down your street, where will you be? The guy who started this whole thing ruined everything for everyone, like one bad apple spoiled the whole barrel.

Upright keywords: country life, refuge, haven, home, repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, peace

The knight charges into battle ready to strike. This card suggests an extreme quarrel or fight. If it is supposed to mean a person, he is a man of action. Unfortunately his actions are totally destructive. He is up to no good. His mission of mayhem may have a mastermind behind it though.

An evil genius could possibly be sending this guy as muscle. The brains of the operation sends this guy to do the dirty work. Whatever the problem, we find this guy is sombody's problem solver. Even if the knight's mission is personal, he is there to do harm.

The position this card comes up in may show a brutal battle. An oppressive power rides in to take control by force. In his mind the ends justify the means, allowing him to convince himself that the excessive violence of his warpath is actually for the greater good!

Upright keywords: defence, enmity, wrath, war, destruction, fighting, opposition, resistance, force