The Celtic Cross Tarot Reading

Probably the most famous tarot spread is known as the Celtic Cross. The heathen idol mocks the Christian version by using a very close symbol to invoke Satanic visions. The spread is much more advanced than the 3 card Past, Present, and Future spread, looking into deeper forbidden zones such as the rational and emotional psychological basis and the reader's secret hopes and fears.

One begins using this infamous spread by looking at the significator, saying "this is it." The second card is laid cross-wise over the card, not quite like the picture which is altered for online convenience. The second card "crosses" the first, meaning this image compounds the significator.

The crowning card above the cross, #3 shows the rational thoughts, while #4 below shows the emotional feelings associated with the issue. Cards #5 and 6 represent the timeline just like the 3 card PPF's past and future cards.

Card #7 shows the asker about their own attitude, while #8 is concerned with the mood of the people and surroundings effecting the situation. Card #9 shows either what the asker is afraid of or secretly hopes for. The final card, #10 shows where the situation leads, the final result.

This crowns it

The Chariot

Hopes and fears

Knight of Pentagrams

This is you

The Moon

This crosses it

King of Cups

This is it

8 of Wands

It rests upon

9 of Swords

Too many wands is just too many egos to work together without an extremely powerful leader. Without a leader, the mob that formed in the previous Wands card now becomes a menace without a cause. There is an organized chaos in the mob mentality, and their real danger lies in the randomness of their actions. They are prone to meaningless madness.

The democratic structure that they are so proud of is really just harmonious anarchy. They share the desire to do evil and as long as one guy isn't too much of a jerk, they'll probably go along with whatever the guy says. It may be that idle hands are to blame.

The danger of mob mentality is that nobody really knows who is doing the thinking. Without a leader, nobody has anybody to answer to so they all share the blame. Whever this card shows up, beware of random chaos.

Reversed keywords: jealousy, internal war, dispute, conscience, quarrels, domestic disputes

The patriarch of the Cups suit sits on his throne, which is adrift at sea. He is the king of the element of water. The extreme representation of him sailing the seas alone on his throne is as bold of a statement as if he could walk on water. Where is his kingdom? It must be under the sea.

His power is as solid as the foundation of his kingdom, which symbolically supports him. He must be as light as a feather if he doesn't want to sink. What good is a kingdom if it sits on the ocean floor?

Behind him on either side is a whale or large fish jumping out of the water and a ship sailing. He dons the dorkiest crown in the deck, looking like a real nerd. Perhaps that is why he seems so isolated and detached from his world.

Upright keywords: fair, responsible, equity, science, judge, experience, art, creativity, intelligence

The Charioteer rides from city to city stopping to make public speeches. His traveling podium conceals a permanent erection that is the driving force behind all of his speeches. Blatant phallic symbols decorate the crest of his podium suggesting flamboyant bisexuality coupled with sexual addiction.

The hypocrite driving this Chariot speaks against the temptations of sex while engaging in every act of debauchery that presents an opportunity. His limits know no bounds. Children and the mentally challenged present easy targets for the roving predator.

His draft animals are sphinxes that are mirror reflections and color inversions of each other. Criminals are criminals day and night, so remember that during the day they must at least appear legitimate. Watch out for this snake oil saleman, who has probably only rode into town looking for a victim. Whether he's selling sex, drugs, or rock and roll, just say 'No' to this bad apple.

Reversed keywords: con artist, crook, cheater, criminal, traffic, rogue, charlatan, poser

A man feels tremendous shame due to an evil succubus robbing him of the oil of gladness. The terrible trauma of having been seduced by a demon causes a profound loss of dignity. To rub it in, the nocturnal emission is so evil that it totally ruins the sheets.

The swords that are mounted above the bed are a sign of extreme cruelty. The man's soul writhes in excruciating pain and agony, humiliated by the sick pleasure that he realizes that the sin has given him. As he facepalms in disgrace, the movie of the climax of his dream replays over and over.

The evil man may have secretly enjoyed and even prayed for the succubus visit. His greatest shame is that he has been caught in this cycle of sin for ever. He pretends to repent but can't break out of the loop.

Upright keywords: suspicion, doubt, fear, guilt, shame, deception, delay, disappointment, despair

A creepy hand appears out of a dark cloud to begin the suit about thinking and thoughts, the Swords. All knowledge of this world is inherently evil. Swords are dangerous as the pursuit of worldly knowledge does nothing but pile evil on top of evil as if it were an unholy Tower of Babel.

Like the aforementioned story, the card shows an intellectual effort to know the heavens - the very definition of EVIL! The entire Swords suit does nothing but continual evil as it plays out, and this card is the root of it all.

The giant sword penetrates the crown in the sky as if to violate heaven. Knowledge of the heavens represents the ultimate evil. Those who seek wisdom of such are blasphemous false prophets who should be cut off from among their people at the very minimum.

Reversed keywords: excessive force, hatred, disaster, heavy-handed, malevolent, domineering, bully

The angel in this card is mixing strong drink. The triangle on his robe represents fire, and it is also a sign of alchemy. This enlightened figure looks like the guy who was crucified in the name of Satan on the Hanged Man card. Dipping his injured toes into the soothing pool confirms our suspicion. He was tied up by the same foot in the previous scenario.

We also notice that he's the same angel that appeared on the Lovers card. This guy seems to be a very important figure in the play of the tarot cards. He is apparently a messenger of the LORD, as we can see his face is like the sun.

Upright keywords: healing, rest, regrouping, recovery, restoration, fortification, rebuilding

The gate of sunset seems to be the setting for a long dark path. This card is another bad omen. It shows a treacherous road if evolution from the point of view of a low life lobster. The ridiculous ideas of evolution that are suggested by this card are meaningless. A lobster will never evolve into a human being no matter how much time passes.

A dog and a wolf show that man's best friend is sort of a creation of creative breeders, so maybe evolution makes a small amount of sense. They are trying to suggest here that man is equal to God though and this is evil. The crusty crustacean will not make it up the mountains. It will naturally sink back to the slimy abyss that spawned it. This is where the nasty thing belongs.

Reversed keywords: delirium, paranoia, distress, hyper-alertness, pins and needles, butterflies, shaky nerves

A blindfolded woman holds 2 heavy swords forming the shape of a V. She is seated in a chair on the edge of the sea, like several cards of the Cups suit. Considering the suit this card is part of, this is probably not such a bad sign in light of the rest of the deck. She bears the burden of thought, as if she must solve a difficult math equation entirely in her head.

The wickedness of being left to the whims of one's own thoughts may be just getting started here. The picture seems to signify burdensome thoughts building inside the mind of the young woman. The more she thinks, the more trouble she creates for herself.

The only hope for this card is that she is paused, so she may stop her insane quest here before she goes too far. Where this card shows up in a reading probably says that there is a need to pause and reflect, and maybe stop whatever it is you were thinking about doing.

Upright keywords: peace, calm, quiet, content, conformity, concord, harmony, passive resistance

A heavy set knight rides a slow dark horse. He embodies the characteristics of stubbornness and evil pride. Pride is considered the most deadly of the sins. He takes his time trotting on his way because he savors his status and the attention it commands.

The black horse and knight can also stand for an incubus. An incubus is a male demon that rapes women in their dreams after seducing them in the guise of their prince charming. They fool them into believing they are in love and married. Then after the woman wakes up she realizes that she made love to a demon, forever humbling her.

The card may mean that the evil twin of prince charming will pay you a surprise visit. Whatever position the card appears, it shows the character of a romantic seducer. He wants to sweep a woman off her feet so she's easier to take advantage of.

Reversed keywords: inertia, idleness, stagnation, discouragement, placidity, carelessness, loser

This is the card of intoxication and the depravity it spreads. Alcohol is a tool of the devil. Alcohol contains demons that eventually take full possession of the soul when enough is injested. Throughout all history and even before recorded history, alcohol has always been the most popular method of inducing demonic possession.

The husbandman is a perveyor of perversion. Like the vine pictured on the card, it spreads outward like a plague growing in all directions. Pentagrams, the universal symbol of Satan, decorate the vine like a Christmas tree.

The grape vine is one of the best signs to represent evil because they share the same capacity for growth and corruption. The husbandman must carefully restrict the vine's growth just to maintain order. The husbandman may represent an alcoholic or a bartender, someone who manages alcohol.

Upright keywords: money, business, barter, innocence, ingenuity, purgation, enginuity