The Celtic Cross Tarot Reading

Probably the most famous tarot spread is known as the Celtic Cross. The heathen idol mocks the Christian version by using a very close symbol to invoke Satanic visions. The spread is much more advanced than the 3 card Past, Present, and Future spread, looking into deeper forbidden zones such as the rational and emotional psychological basis and the reader's secret hopes and fears.

One begins using this infamous spread by looking at the significator, saying "this is it." The second card is laid cross-wise over the card, not quite like the picture which is altered for online convenience. The second card "crosses" the first, meaning this image compounds the significator.

The crowning card above the cross, #3 shows the rational thoughts, while #4 below shows the emotional feelings associated with the issue. Cards #5 and 6 represent the timeline just like the 3 card PPF's past and future cards.

Card #7 shows the asker about their own attitude, while #8 is concerned with the mood of the people and surroundings effecting the situation. Card #9 shows either what the asker is afraid of or secretly hopes for. The final card, #10 shows where the situation leads, the final result.

This crowns it

7 of Wands

Hopes and fears

The Star

This is you

The Sun

This crosses it

Knight of Swords

This is it

Knight of Cups

It rests upon

The Hierophant

A creek unwinds in the distance between flat plains and a rocky range. The Knight of Cups gracefully rides into the picture taking center stage. His helmet boasts a pair of wings, symbolic of his lofty imagination. He is a dreamer.

Like any card, his appearance can take on different meanings depending on which position he appears in the spread. He may represent a person of authority you will encounter, or he could represent you achieving a level of authority.

Mainly he is an emotional type. But he also has an influence of a lot of thinking, which brews a storm above waters that may appear calm. One moment the waters are mellow, but they are ready to go into a high tide at any minute.

Upright keywords: seduction, arrival, approach, advances, proposition, demeanour, invitation, incitement

The knight charges into battle ready to strike. This card suggests an extreme quarrel or fight. If it is supposed to mean a person, he is a man of action. Unfortunately his actions are totally destructive. He is up to no good. His mission of mayhem may have a mastermind behind it though.

An evil genius could possibly be sending this guy as muscle. The brains of the operation sends this guy to do the dirty work. Whatever the problem, we find this guy is sombody's problem solver. Even if the knight's mission is personal, he is there to do harm.

The position this card comes up in may show a brutal battle. An oppressive power rides in to take control by force. In his mind the ends justify the means, allowing him to convince himself that the excessive violence of his warpath is actually for the greater good!

Upright keywords: defence, enmity, wrath, war, destruction, fighting, opposition, resistance, force

This guy apparently runs his mouth too much for his own good. He is in a position where he thinks it's alright to come down on everybody. But he quickly learns that nobody likes that. He has put himself in a position where it's 6 on 1. His chances don't look good.

So recently he was in charge, taking so much pride in his command of the others. But one too many insults has ruined the moment. Now he is at the mercy of those who he has offended. Unfortunately they are furious with his bad attitude. Fortunately they do not have stones.

Where this card appears there is someone whose arrogance has been very annoying to more than a few others. He is so obnoxious that they have ganged up on him to remove him from his lofty position. One thing is certain, he will not be commanding this group again without a miracle.

Reversed keywords: perplexity, embarrassment, anxiety, humiliation, indecision, stumped, all but lost

The card you see here is the Pope of the tarot trumps. He is the man who has the keys to the male secrets of creation. As the leader of the church, he is a symbol for all that is good in the tarot deck. Though his wife is a pagan heathen harlot, he is not supposed to have a wife. What? Something is wrong here. Anyway, he's supposed to be like the president of heaven, so maybe the B and J pillars are symbolic of his fate.

His minions do his bidding, and they are known to have some pretty funky hairdos. This guy is basically like the Emperor, worrying more about telling people what to do than taking care of personal issues. Of course his sphere of power is different, as he governs the laws of God.

Upright keywords: understanding, wisdom, holy, spiritual, adept, astute, keen, knowing

Now you've done it. The LORD has sent His angel to blast a loud horn in your ears. A bunch of naked zombies will emgerge from their tombs on the day of Judgement. This is the time when you'll pray that the mountains should fall on you to hide you from the fierce wrath of the LORD. But it's your own fault things have turned out this way so you will just have to face the music.

Unfortunately the music for you will be a horn so loud, so annoying that you will pray the LORD strikes you deaf, but the horn does not stop blowing. Time freezes but you are the only one that seems to notice. At some point you realize that this is never going to end. Ultimately it dawns on you that you should have never read those damn tarot cards. But it's too late now.

Reversed keywords: punishment, chastisement, affliction, retribution, mortification, prison

The fiery angel Lucifer gives his blessing to the Lovers. The Lovers here are none other than the first man and woman, Adam and Eve standing in the center of the Garden of Eden. Behind Adam is the tree of life. Behind Eve is the tree of wisdom bearing the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. The serpent is present to tempt Eve, causing the outcast of all mankind from the garden.

They are naked because they have not yet been tempted. Thus the Lovers card is actually a card representing purity. Unfortunately in the world of tarot cards rules are only meant to be broken and purity is only meant to be defiled. This makes the Lovers a target, a lone sheep wandering in a dark forest of predators.

Upright keywords: love, grace, purity, caring, tenderness, innocence, perfection, the simple life

The Sun card has a strange image of what appears to be an extremely happy child. Riding his own pony, what kid wouldn't be elated? The child's face is like the face of the sun, which also happens to resemble all those sun flowers in the background.

The Sun boldly beams light in every direction. Everything in the world depends upon it. Those who depend upon something tend to mimic it. This card is trying to tell you to follow other gods like foolish children who idolize rock stars in their silly little dreams.

Did I forget to mention that the child is naked? What more needs to be said?

Reversed keywords: overflowing, too much, surplus, profuse, overbearing, lavish, glut

Twice the evil is twice the fun. Also twice the trouble. This joker balances 2 pentagrams, waving his arms like the sea. His perverted sexual innuendo likens himself to a human penis. I will not explain the depraved meanings of his solo dance routine, so not to glorify his self-abuse. It is better not to give this desperate, depraved fool any attention.

He likens the sea to a giant body of flowing semen. This is noticable as he mimics the high tide with his enormous testicles. There is no mistake about it, not wearing that giant condom top hat. The card clearly represents the male mating dance ritual.

The man might be a male stripper as the party clown. There's a better chance that it is just some pathetic chronic masturbator though, a sick soul lustfully devouring itself. Whatever the case, the card is all about a guy with sex on the brain, wearing a condom hat as if his thoughts were erect.

Upright keywords: gaiety, recreation, writing, obstacles, agitation, trouble, embroilment

A nude woman has one foot on the ground and the other on the sea, like in Temperance. In fact she may be pouring out the elixers concocted in that card. She pours these two jugs out onto the land and the sea.

She is the Star empowered by Lucifer as indicated by the morning star above her. She is the servant of the figure in Temperance who reaps the fruit of the labor of Temperance. She steals the mixtures, pouring them out she symbolically intoxicates both the land and the fish.

She is only the Star because she is the one that got caught doing it. Noboby will probably ever find out who mixed the drinks because the Star isn't talking. She refuses to share the spotlight that she worked so hard to steal.

Reversed keywords: overbearing, overwhelming, too much, exaggerated, disproportionate, intoxication

The villian in this card moves with the subtlty of a shadow. Dressed in all black, he is seen here contemplating his heist. It is not clear whether the burglary has actually went down yet or whether he is just planning it, but it matters not. When one has just a thought about committing a crime, it is the same thing as having done the deed.

The man in black is a thief in the night. He lays up a treasure for himself as if it will wait for him in heaven, when in reality the pleasure of it is fleeting. Any satisfaction that the riches bring him are tainted by the way that he acquired them.

We see the apparent problems that come with ill-gotten gains in some of the cups. A dragon and a snake are familiar signs of the evil he has done coming back to him. From the central cup of focus emerges a person dressed as a phallic ghost, a strong reminder that the spirits are watching the person who would do this, who is a total jerk.

Upright keywords: dreams, reflection, sentiment, imagination, visions in the crystal ball, mirage