The Relationship Tarot Reading

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The Relationship Spread

The Relationship

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

The Relationship Reading

  You   Other Person
4 of Swords
Queen of Swords
The Empress

Page of Cups

3 of Swords
(external appearance)

7 of Swords
4 of Cups


Page of Cups

A girly man talks to a fish in his cup. Clearly somebody has had one too many. Delirium sets in as he starts tripping. The evil that is associated with this card is possession. Spirits that possess a soul may be invited by drinking, drugs, or other forms of personal experimentation. Such experiments always blow up in the person's face.

The fish emerging from the cup is actually an holy sign with dual implications. He holds the Holy Grail, which of course contains the Jesus fish. The cup symbolically holds the essence of Christ, the spirit of holy self-sacrifice.

The fish is probably telling the guy on this card that he dresses like a fruit and needs to be a man. He might think he knows himself, but he is not aware of God's plan for him. He better listen to the fish if he knows what's good for him.

Upright keywords: dreams, imagination, fantasy, figment, head trip, fancy, invention


Your Thoughts

4 of Swords

In the trump cards there was a card of Death, but here we have one of Death's own. A dead knight or the tomb of one is the character pictured on this card. He just lays there as if frozen in prayer. The creepy image is reminiscent of finding the ashes of a praying man in the geological excavation of the aftermath of a volcanic eruption.

Like the man, the 3 swords are not actual swords but only representations of them. Perhaps this card is a reminder of the famous words of the LORD, that he who wields the sword must be killed with the sword. Maybe that is why the swords appear to be 3 against 1.

He is laying in a holy place, as we can see by the church-like stained glass window. He may be laying in a tomb attached to the church. For the suit of Swords, this card would certainly be one of the lesser evils.

Upright keywords: vigilance, retreat, solitude, exile, ostracize, separated, alone

Their Thoughts

Queen of Swords

This particular Queen has the worst reputation of all the suits. She is known to rip people apart with caculated insults intended to strip people of their self-respect, utterly demoralizing them. She runs people down unmercifully and does not quit until she has broken their wills. She is like a dark cloud that ruins your whole day.

She plants the seed of psychosis in her victim's mind and then hatefully fuels its rapid growth. This is a dark sign of deep depression. High pressure so overly high that it depresses the pressure and the poor person ends up depressed, down in the dumps.

The power of the sword that she holds over your head is to do harm. The person in this card takes great satisfaction in the misery of her subjects. Her madness knows no bounds, and can easily progress well beyond the definition of torture.

Upright keywords: widowhood, sadness, embarrassment, absence, sterility, mourning, separation


Your Emotions

The Empress

The Empress gets to lounge around all day by the pool on her luxiurious outdoor lazy boy in her pajamas. She just hangs out talking on her state of the art cell phone when she's not on her laptop, playing video games, or watching TV. She is like the definition of sloth, having no job nor serving any useful and holsum service in the world.

Her luxury estate is high on the hill. She is queen of the bachlorette party once a month, even though nobody ever really gets married. The more you get to know about this woman, the more layers of sin become uncovered. Her husband is a lucky man indeed.

Reversed keywords: lazy, useless, couch potato, lotus eater, slacker, condescending, sponge, good-for-nothing

Their Emotions

3 of Swords

The 3 swords pierce a heart as if you were to receive a Valentine's card from somebody who was breaking up with you. A storm rages in the background. This is a card of particularly evil feelings. It is the tarot deck's broken heart.

The card does not really need a description as it projects such apparent symbolism that nobody could misread it. A broken heart doesn't feel good to anybody except maybe the person who broke it. Unfortunately there are many who would love to destroy others emotionally, as if it feeds their sick satisfaction.

Where this card appears there has been an evil act that has shaken a person to their core. There is probably a profound sorrow and resentment that will linger for some time.

Upright keywords: removal, absence, delay, division, rupture, loss, dispersion, spillage, waste


Your Facade

7 of Swords

A thief looks over his shoulder as he makes away with 5 of 7 swords. Just like the 10 of Wands, their owners were having supper. This heist is not as easy as grabbing 10 wands though. Swords are a lot harder to carry so he can only manage 5 of them. He treads lightly, knowing that anybody in those tents might notice their sword or their friend's walking away.

He is tiptoeing away from the scene of the crime, wishing that he was invisible. In Waite's Book of Black Magic, criminals are encouraged to do heinous spells of unimaginable evil. Waite, the maker of this tarot deck was a sinister occultist who was one of the most notorious proponents of evil that the world has ever known.

Knowing just a little about the twisted mind of Waite, we may assume that the fez-like cap the thief dons is most likely his hat of invisibility. The pathetic spell that the man must perform to even become invisible requires a night in the grave yard, where he must dig up a corpse and steal its hand, which then of course he puts in his pocket for good luck when he does crimes.

Upright keywords: design, attempt, wish, hope, confidence, also quarrelling, slander, babbling

Their Facade

4 of Cups

This card shows a guy with too much time on his hands. Idleness leads to boredom, which leads to bad thoughts for the heart of man is concerned with nothing but evil perpetually. The guy tells himself how much more accurate his game of darts becomes with every passing drink.

The guy believes that wine and strong drink actually gives him an edge, making him a better man. He would drown in his own self-deceit if he weren't sitting on top of an high hill. Folding his arms and legs in a stubborn stance, he believes himself to be enlightened.

He imagines the toxic swill he ingests to be the blessing of the Holy Grail. A hand emerges from an imaginary cloud once again issuing a cup. The man is caught up in his own folly, deceiving himself at every turn.

Upright keywords: weariness, disgust, aversion, paranoia, vexations, delusion, self-exalted

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