The Relationship Tarot Reading

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The Relationship Spread

The Relationship

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

The Relationship Reading

  You   Other Person
9 of Swords
8 of Cups
The Hanged Man

The Lovers

Queen of Pentagrams
(external appearance)

The Magician


The Lovers

The fiery angel Lucifer gives his blessing to the Lovers. The Lovers here are none other than the first man and woman, Adam and Eve standing in the center of the Garden of Eden. Behind Adam is the tree of life. Behind Eve is the tree of wisdom bearing the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. The serpent is present to tempt Eve, causing the outcast of all mankind from the garden.

They are naked because they have not yet been tempted. Thus the Lovers card is actually a card representing purity. Unfortunately in the world of tarot cards rules are only meant to be broken and purity is only meant to be defiled. This makes the Lovers a target, a lone sheep wandering in a dark forest of predators.

Upright keywords: love, grace, purity, caring, tenderness, innocence, perfection, the simple life


Your Thoughts

9 of Swords

A man feels tremendous shame due to an evil succubus robbing him of the oil of gladness. The terrible trauma of having been seduced by a demon causes a profound loss of dignity. To rub it in, the nocturnal emission is so evil that it totally ruins the sheets.

The swords that are mounted above the bed are a sign of extreme cruelty. The man's soul writhes in excruciating pain and agony, humiliated by the sick pleasure that he realizes that the sin has given him. As he facepalms in disgrace, the movie of the climax of his dream replays over and over.

The evil man may have secretly enjoyed and even prayed for the succubus visit. His greatest shame is that he has been caught in this cycle of sin for ever. He pretends to repent but can't break out of the loop.

Reversed keywords: imprisonment, failure, agony, nightmare, sorrow, pain, emotional torment, self-harm, dwelling on negatives

Their Thoughts

8 of Cups

This card shows a guy who stored up a treasure while isolating himself. When he finally completes his collection, he realizes that there is no fulfillment in his reward. Now he has all these cups, but no friends to share them with. He is a hermit on an island, symbolic of a period of loneliness.

It's poetic justice that he has all the treasure he ever dreamed of and that it is still empty. He gets what he deserves. He has burned his bridges and now all the treasure in the world would not mean anything.

His evil ways of hunting treasure on Earth at the expense of people has come full circle. The rewards that he reaps are barren cups of gold, a painful reminder of what he has sacrificed to gain this treasure. His abandonment of the cups is the only ray of light in that now he has at least learned why a rich man can not go to heaven.

Upright keywords: mildness, timidity, honour, modesty, decline, empty victory, hollow pursuits


Your Emotions

The Hanged Man

The poor guy that was lynched on this oddly shaped vine has discovered enlightenment. They tied both hands behind his back and even went so far as to tie one leg behind the other.

Sometimes it is good to contemplate your existence and purpose, to become more aware and in touch with God. But this kind of satanic mimicking of the crucifixion is outrageous. The blatant satanic symbolism of the man hanging upside down on the cross may be the most blasphemous card of the whole deck, in a deck full of abominations.

Reversed keywords: mockery, derision, ridicule, copy cat, impersonation, mimicry

Their Emotions

Queen of Pentagrams

The wicked queen's throne is decked out with satanic symbols. She holds the pentagram in her lap as if symbolically to love and nourish the antichrist. She may indeed represent the mother of the antichrist, the scarlet woman. She certainly dresses just like her.

She is fully focused on her evil intentions, whatever the abomination she holds so dear may be. The card is is sign of a woman in love with the devil. However disgusting the wretched thing she loves may seem to other people, to her it's her baby. It means the world to her.

The sun is about to set in her wild kingdom. The vine of roses shows that she is overflowing with love. Unfortuantely though she may have the best of intentions, every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn. Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.

Reversed keywords: evil, suspicion, suspense, fear, distrust, paranoid, disrespect, cowardice


Your Facade

The Magician

As the first card in the deck, the Magician is where it all begins. People are lured by the illusionist who deceives them with petty trickery, which A.E. Waite taught all about in his Book of Black Magic. He uses the tools of the devil to mock the powers of the LORD by mimicking Him. He self-righteously believes himself to comprehend the infinite faculties of the LORD through black magic.

He holds the same baton that the Whore of Babylon twirls in her fingers as she dances on the World card at the opposite end of the deck. Likewise as the Magician's mate is the Whore, this will also be your fate if you play with magic. The LORD does not approve of whoring yourself to idols through the use of magic, and a whore shall receive a whore's reward.

If you choose to mimmick the LORD, know that He does not consider this flattering. He shall smite thee with a curse, and you will wind up married to a cheating slut.

Upright keywords: meddling, gossip, slander, copycat, ill will, false knowledge, trickery

Their Facade


Famine has taken over the land bringing plagues and destruction. The king has fallen dead and his subjects have come to expect the same fate. The Pope or Hierophant stands up to Death when ordinary mortals bow.

The sun is setting between the gates, symbolic of the death of another day. Death rides into town on a pale horse, but this grim reaper is waving a flag instead of a sythe. On his flag we see satanic symbols of forbidden fruit sitting inside a five-pointed flower reminiscent of the pentagram.

The Death card is the most feared card in the deck, and for obvious reasons. Who wants to find out when somebody they know is going to die? Psychic readers will tell you every time that the Death card is not bad, but this is the biggest lie they can possibly tell. How much more lying do you think they do in an average reading?

Upright keywords: fear, paranoia, terror, worry, anxiety, cowardice, alarm, fright, grief, sorrow

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