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The Relationship Tarot Reading

       
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The Relationship Spread

The Relationship

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.



The Relationship Reading

  You   Other Person
Thoughts
The Empress
 
8 of Cups
Emotions
Ace of Pentagrams
Significator

3 of Pentagrams

Queen of Swords
Facade
(external appearance)

2 of Swords
 
Queen of Wands
 

Significator

3 of Pentagrams

The crafter from the 8 of Pentagrams is at work in the temple. He decorates the satanic ritual chamber. His work is overseen by 2 strange authority figures, a monk and a man wearing an entertainer's robe. His robe of lust is covered with lipstick stains, a clue about his secret side job. The rise of satanism has opened the door to all manner of debauchery.

Servants of the devil stand in mockery of the church. They mimic the same symbols that represent all that is good, a method of hurling childish insults at God. This card is the gate of temple of the devil. Evil men carry out their plan to open the gates of Hell.

The artisan puts the final touches on the gates. Proud devil worshippers direct the construction of the ultimate abomination. It is a sign of the times, how Satan has gained a foothold on the world by establishing his own church. God help us all.

Upright keywords: trade, skilled labour, craft, aristocracy, renown, glory, barter, work in progress

 

Your Thoughts

The Empress

The Empress gets to lounge around all day by the pool on her luxiurious outdoor lazy boy in her pajamas. She just hangs out talking on her state of the art cell phone when she's not on her laptop, playing video games, or watching TV. She is like the definition of sloth, having no job nor serving any useful and holsum service in the world.

Her luxury estate is high on the hill. She is queen of the bachlorette party once a month, even though nobody ever really gets married. The more you get to know about this woman, the more layers of sin become uncovered. Her husband is a lucky man indeed.

Upright keywords: unemployment, sloth, queen, bossy, dominant, malingerer, spoiled, superior

   
Their Thoughts

8 of Cups

This card shows a guy who stored up a treasure while isolating himself. When he finally completes his collection, he realizes that there is no fulfillment in his reward. Now he has all these cups, but no friends to share them with. He is a hermit on an island, symbolic of a period of loneliness.

It's poetic justice that he has all the treasure he ever dreamed of and that it is still empty. He gets what he deserves. He has burned his bridges and now all the treasure in the world would not mean anything.

His evil ways of hunting treasure on Earth at the expense of people has come full circle. The rewards that he reaps are barren cups of gold, a painful reminder of what he has sacrificed to gain this treasure. His abandonment of the cups is the only ray of light in that now he has at least learned why a rich man can not go to heaven.

Upright keywords: mildness, timidity, honour, modesty, decline, empty victory, hollow pursuits

 

Your Emotions

Ace of Pentagrams

The evil Thing that keeps handing off the sign of each suit offers you power directly from the devil. The printer called this suit Pentacles, when it is obviously Pentagrams in reality. The material and carnal implications of this suit makes it the most wicked of all signs. Though debauchery may abound all throughout each suit of the tarot deck, much of it was concentrated into this suit by the evil mastermind of black magic, Waite.

The pentagram is the sign of the devil. It is the satanic attempt to blaspheme the holy symbol of the crucifix; it is their response to the cross. The sign was traditionally used in evil occult ceremonial rites when they used to call upon the devil in secret.

After Anton Szandor LaVey branded his satanic religion with the pentagram, it was official: Satan was now being openly worshipped. Since LaVey's death, Satanism has flourished. When this card comes up it shows the seed of evil being planted. This card represents the essence of wickedness. It brings earthly and carnal delights.

Upright keywords: contentment, felicity, ecstasy, witty intelligence, gold, carnal pleasure, seed of evil

   
Their Emotions

Queen of Swords

This particular Queen has the worst reputation of all the suits. She is known to rip people apart with caculated insults intended to strip people of their self-respect, utterly demoralizing them. She runs people down unmercifully and does not quit until she has broken their wills. She is like a dark cloud that ruins your whole day.

She plants the seed of psychosis in her victim's mind and then hatefully fuels its rapid growth. This is a dark sign of deep depression. High pressure so overly high that it depresses the pressure and the poor person ends up depressed, down in the dumps.

The power of the sword that she holds over your head is to do harm. The person in this card takes great satisfaction in the misery of her subjects. Her madness knows no bounds, and can easily progress well beyond the definition of torture.

Reversed keywords: malice, bigotry, artifice, prudery, bale, deceit, tricks, ignorance, emotional damage, intent to harm

 

Your Facade

2 of Swords

A blindfolded woman holds 2 heavy swords forming the shape of a V. She is seated in a chair on the edge of the sea, like several cards of the Cups suit. Considering the suit this card is part of, this is probably not such a bad sign in light of the rest of the deck. She bears the burden of thought, as if she must solve a difficult math equation entirely in her head.

The wickedness of being left to the whims of one's own thoughts may be just getting started here. The picture seems to signify burdensome thoughts building inside the mind of the young woman. The more she thinks, the more trouble she creates for herself.

The only hope for this card is that she is paused, so she may stop her insane quest here before she goes too far. Where this card shows up in a reading probably says that there is a need to pause and reflect, and maybe stop whatever it is you were thinking about doing.

Upright keywords: peace, calm, quiet, content, conformity, concord, harmony, passive resistance

   
Their Facade

Queen of Wands

What is the first thing you notice about this card? Is it her unladylike stance, or the black cat between her legs? She seems to project an openly generous attitude, as if offering the sunflower in her left hand as a gift. A sunflower is a very positive symbol, but a black cat is blocking your path.

Everybody knows that black cats mean bad luck when they cross your path. Even though she looks like she offers a treasure, you know it comes with a price. If you accept her generosity, you will also accept a curse of bad luck.

She appears to be a very authoritative lady. She has generally the same character traits as her matching king, but with a less intimidating quality that comes with her charisma. Just be careful what comes with her gifts.

Upright keywords: economical, obliging, usable, friendly, chaste, loving, honourable, successful

 
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