The Relationship Tarot Reading

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The Relationship Spread

The Relationship

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

The Relationship Reading

  You   Other Person
7 of Cups
4 of Wands
5 of Swords

2 of Cups

3 of Wands
(external appearance)

3 of Pentagrams
9 of Wands


2 of Cups

A lion's head oversees the tarot deck's card of love. In the tarot deck there are men who are stage performers who dress almost in drag as a part of the act. Besides the obvious implications, we can dismiss this aspect of the card as nothing but the perverse style of evildoers.

The picture shows a young man and woman on a date. They took the day to share a romantic walk in the park. It is obvious by the way that they look at each other what they are thinking. They take a moment to toast to their love.

As they symbolically share a drink, the sign of their union appears between the cups. Twisting around the pole are 2 snakes that resemble a strand of DNA. It doesn't take a genious to figure out what these two are planning. We can only hope that they do the right thing and get married first.

Upright keywords: love, passion, friendship, affinity, union, concord, desire, intercourse


Your Thoughts

7 of Cups

The villian in this card moves with the subtlty of a shadow. Dressed in all black, he is seen here contemplating his heist. It is not clear whether the burglary has actually went down yet or whether he is just planning it, but it matters not. When one has just a thought about committing a crime, it is the same thing as having done the deed.

The man in black is a thief in the night. He lays up a treasure for himself as if it will wait for him in heaven, when in reality the pleasure of it is fleeting. Any satisfaction that the riches bring him are tainted by the way that he acquired them.

We see the apparent problems that come with ill-gotten gains in some of the cups. A dragon and a snake are familiar signs of the evil he has done coming back to him. From the central cup of focus emerges a person dressed as a phallic ghost, a strong reminder that the spirits are watching the person who would do this, who is a total jerk.

Reversed keywords: will, determination, desire, crime, craving, wants, longing, theft, cheap tactics

Their Thoughts

4 of Wands

The warlock who opened the gate of Hell in the previous card, with the devil's blessing, has succeeded brilliantly. Without warning we stumble upon, of all debaucheries, the gay parade! In a world gone wild with rampant abomination of things such as tarot readings being considered alright, anything goes. How quicky does mankind sink into its own vile pits, only four ranks into the suit.

They welcome us to the parade with open arms as happy as can be. But it is the devil's parade, and what is the devil's parade but hell on earth? The tarot deck is full of such warnings, but there's always somebody who just has to violate the warning. The sad part is that he ruins it for all of us.

Now the devil's army marches proudly down the street bearing the symbols of peace and love. They take the things we hold closest to our heart and pervert it with unspeakable blasphemy. When the devil's army marches down your street, where will you be? The guy who started this whole thing ruined everything for everyone, like one bad apple spoiled the whole barrel.

Upright keywords: country life, refuge, haven, home, repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, peace


Your Emotions

5 of Swords

One dominant man laughs as his opponents don't dare challenge him. They are a couple of pathetic losers who know they were outmatched. They even abandon their arms in complete submission and hopelessness.

This card obviously indicates a dominant victory for the man in the foreground. He stands there laughing as he holds 3 swords. He is so proud of himself.

He laughs at others' misfortunes. The person who this card might symbolize in a reading would be most likely a bully who nobody likes.

Reversed keywords: loss, devastate, deplore, despair, abandon, quit, retreat, give up, surrender

Their Emotions

3 of Wands

With 3 wands, long staffs here, the guy in this card dares to set up a ceremonial ritual for the devil. He sets up the 3 staffs in a way as to form a doorway. He goes into character as the devil's mime, and his insane intentions are to open this imaginary door, which is in his reality a gateway to hell.

The guy in this card has become adept at black magic and should be avoided by all who wish to remain pure. He has become a master of illusion and corruption as the third rank of the suit of Wands. He has become like the devil himself, and holds the power of temptation because he has the power to manipulate reality, though he is only a legend in his own mind.

Still, the position that this card falls is a strong indicator of where the devil has sent a powerful warlock to do his bidding. The thing about conspiracy though is that it's done quietly so that it is sometimes hard to notice. Whatever position of a spread that gets this card is in peril of having all hell break loose.

Upright keywords: established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery


Your Facade

3 of Pentagrams

The crafter from the 8 of Pentagrams is at work in the temple. He decorates the satanic ritual chamber. His work is overseen by 2 strange authority figures, a monk and a man wearing an entertainer's robe. His robe of lust is covered with lipstick stains, a clue about his secret side job. The rise of satanism has opened the door to all manner of debauchery.

Servants of the devil stand in mockery of the church. They mimic the same symbols that represent all that is good, a method of hurling childish insults at God. This card is the gate of temple of the devil. Evil men carry out their plan to open the gates of Hell.

The artisan puts the final touches on the gates. Proud devil worshippers direct the construction of the ultimate abomination. It is a sign of the times, how Satan has gained a foothold on the world by establishing his own church. God help us all.

Reversed keywords: mediocre, puerility, petty, weak, lame, lousy, half-assed, flimsy, noodle-legged

Their Facade

9 of Wands

The guy in this card has managed to once again secure the loyalty of his comrads. They are protecting him because he has been injured and he's an important member of the group. They erect a shield of staves to protect their own to give him time to heal.

He gets the respect of a soldier wounded in battle, but he secretly revels in the power they once again present him with. He knows better than to try to command the group through force, so he chooses to manipulate their sympathies. He discovers a much easier form of power to achieve, which happens to be a lot more potent too.

He doesn't even have to lift a finger to control the group, who finally has a cause to support, a reason to come together. It fills the emotional needs of those who seek control and those who seek to be controlled at the same time. The man has learned a new trick from the devil.

Reversed keywords: obstacles, adversity, calamity, delay, suspension, dark cloud, setbacks

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