The Relationship Tarot Reading

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The Relationship Spread

The Relationship

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

The Relationship Reading

  You   Other Person
6 of Pentagrams
King of Pentagrams
7 of Pentagrams

7 of Swords

4 of Pentagrams
(external appearance)

9 of Cups


7 of Swords

A thief looks over his shoulder as he makes away with 5 of 7 swords. Just like the 10 of Wands, their owners were having supper. This heist is not as easy as grabbing 10 wands though. Swords are a lot harder to carry so he can only manage 5 of them. He treads lightly, knowing that anybody in those tents might notice their sword or their friend's walking away.

He is tiptoeing away from the scene of the crime, wishing that he was invisible. In Waite's Book of Black Magic, criminals are encouraged to do heinous spells of unimaginable evil. Waite, the maker of this tarot deck was a sinister occultist who was one of the most notorious proponents of evil that the world has ever known.

Knowing just a little about the twisted mind of Waite, we may assume that the fez-like cap the thief dons is most likely his hat of invisibility. The pathetic spell that the man must perform to even become invisible requires a night in the grave yard, where he must dig up a corpse and steal its hand, which then of course he puts in his pocket for good luck when he does crimes.

Upright keywords: design, attempt, wish, hope, confidence, also quarrelling, slander, babbling


Your Thoughts

6 of Pentagrams

Mocking the scales of Justice, a satanic merchant gives money to the bums. He buys their loyalty at bargain basement prices, intending to use them as pawns. They are aware of their lowly role, yet it matters not. They have not got the self-esteem to rise any higher, and they are too cowardly and ignorant to change.

You can never make a small man big, for he will only become an educated arrogant fool. The best thing would be to teach them how to fish, but they are too dumb and lazy to learn. They would rather take the quick and easy method. They don't care that they hold themselves back. They simply have no ambition whatsoever.

Pride may be a sin, but the complete lack of pride may be just as bad. The merchant gives the impression of fairness, but this is just a facade. He is there to take advantage of people in any way he can. We can only imagine what kind of task he needs these 2 to perform. This is the card of money as the root of all evil.

Upright keywords: presents, gifts, gratification, attention, vigilance, the present time, generosity

Their Thoughts

King of Pentagrams

The suit of Pentagrams is not concerned specifically with money or material possessions, but it does often represent these things. It is the most wicked suit in the deck, bearing the sigil of Baphomet, the goat-headed devil that speaks for Satan. Occultists used to call upon Baphomet due to the fact that they were terrified of the devil. The cute goat was a lot easier to talk to.

Like Richard Ramirez, the king represents the Pentagram in his left hand, the hand of the devil. Those who follow the devil have certain code words for what they do so they can conspire openly. One of the code phrases for being a satanist is 'the left-hand path.' It looks like that's what we have here.

The king of this suit is a real slouch. He is happy with the way things are as long as he does not have to work. This is a card synonymous with the sin of sloth. Sadly the king's greatest ambition was to watch everybody else do all the work for him while he 'balances the budget.' He is a strong personality who acts like he carries his own weight, but he rides on the back of others.

Upright keywords: vice, weakness, ugly, perverse, corruption, peril, sloth, laziness, mismanagement


Your Emotions

7 of Pentagrams

This is the card of intoxication and the depravity it spreads. Alcohol is a tool of the devil. Alcohol contains demons that eventually take full possession of the soul when enough is injested. Throughout all history and even before recorded history, alcohol has always been the most popular method of inducing demonic possession.

The husbandman is a perveyor of perversion. Like the vine pictured on the card, it spreads outward like a plague growing in all directions. Pentagrams, the universal symbol of Satan, decorate the vine like a Christmas tree.

The grape vine is one of the best signs to represent evil because they share the same capacity for growth and corruption. The husbandman must carefully restrict the vine's growth just to maintain order. The husbandman may represent an alcoholic or a bartender, someone who manages alcohol.

Reversed keywords: altercation, quarrels, anxiety, borrowing money, mooch, leach, bum, loser

Their Emotions

4 of Pentagrams

This is the secret side of the Emperor. He sits in front of his kingdom showing off the the head, heart, and roots of his earthly power. He is rich and powerful because of his master, the devil. The minister of evil greedily clenches the devil's symbol in his vile clutches. He is a conservative oppresser who would go to any lengths to retain his position.

He is firm in his stance, as firm of a stance as possible. The souls of his feet stand atop 2 pentagrams, signifying his permanent attachment to the devil. He has sold his soul and is now the property of Satan. Balancing atop his crown, the pentagram stands for the knowledge of this world.

Satan has been called the god of this world by some, but this is only admission of their own guilt. There shall be no other gods before the LORD. Though it is a mystery why evil is so prevalent in these trying times, we must be strong and not bow before the devil or his servants.

Reversed keywords: suspense, delay, opposition, plot twist, change of plans, monkeywrench, drama


Your Facade

9 of Cups

A glutton reels in pleasure after consuming mass quantities of spiritous beverages. He squats in a wide stance, feeling enormous after having committed the thoughtless sin. His ego swells as much as his stomach, yet his pride is false. He folds his arms on top of his fat stomach to conceal his growing embarassment.

He keeps telling himself that it's alright because it feels good so he keeps doing it. Before he knows it his physique will resemble the blob. Like the blob, his stomach will eventually eat him. Then it will undoubtedly continue to ingest everything it comes in contact with. Unchecked gluttony may not be the worst of the 7 sins, but it certainly is the ugliest.

The card, wherever it appears in the spread indicates a greedy person who takes more than their fair share whenever possible. He is like an obnoxious fat leach who ruins the party by eating all the catering. In his lame mind it is his birthright to act like an obnoxious fat stomach because that's just what he is.

Reversed keywords: truth, loyalty, liberty, stubbornness, purpose, direction, discipline

Their Facade


This card shows what real Strength is, a woman who can charm the beast into submission. She uses female intuition to soothe the lion's wild nature making him humble. He licks her in servitude with his tail between his legs.

The woman is crowned with the lemniscate halo like the Magician, as she is a magician is her own right. However she actually does seem to understand the LORD. Her servitude of the LORD is repaid with the gift of the lion's servitude.

The woman in this card is of supreme power, commanding fear and respect from those who do not wish to fall under her spell.

Reversed keywords: force, power, domination, hypnotic powers, lawlessness, anarchy

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