The Relationship Tarot Reading

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The Relationship Spread

The Relationship

The devil offers relationship advice like a matchmaker of lust. This Relationship spread attempts to break down the realtionship between 2 people using a scientific method of psychology. It is interpreted by analyzing the differences between the matching cards on either side of the relationship.

The first card to be seen is the significator. This card represents the overall theme and mood of the entire relationship. Next we move to interpreting the 2 columns that characterize each individual's role in the pair.

The top row shows the conscious thoughts of each person, or what they think about the relationship and their partner. The middle row, cards #6-3 show the way each individual feels about the other.

The bottom row represents the way each person acts in the relationship. The stance they take could be genuine, or maybe it is just a facade.

The Relationship Reading

  You   Other Person
King of Wands
The High Priestess
The Moon

6 of Pentagrams

3 of Pentagrams
(external appearance)

5 of Wands
3 of Wands


6 of Pentagrams

Mocking the scales of Justice, a satanic merchant gives money to the bums. He buys their loyalty at bargain basement prices, intending to use them as pawns. They are aware of their lowly role, yet it matters not. They have not got the self-esteem to rise any higher, and they are too cowardly and ignorant to change.

You can never make a small man big, for he will only become an educated arrogant fool. The best thing would be to teach them how to fish, but they are too dumb and lazy to learn. They would rather take the quick and easy method. They don't care that they hold themselves back. They simply have no ambition whatsoever.

Pride may be a sin, but the complete lack of pride may be just as bad. The merchant gives the impression of fairness, but this is just a facade. He is there to take advantage of people in any way he can. We can only imagine what kind of task he needs these 2 to perform. This is the card of money as the root of all evil.

Upright keywords: presents, gifts, gratification, attention, vigilance, the present time, generosity


Your Thoughts

King of Wands

Here we have the lizard king sitting on his throne. He is the supreme commander of the entire suit of Wands, the dominant male of the dominant suit of the Minor Arcana. He wears a red robe, as the ruler of the suit of fire. He bears the secret occult symbol of the lizard eating its own tail.

The king sits there as if he owns the world. He appears to be more of a passionate fan of his own work than anything else. He watches the action that he has set in motion play out for his own amusement. Any people under him are his pawns.

Whatever his whims, it is certain that the people will be the ones who bear the brunt of his decisions. Where this card appears in a reading, there is a man of high influence that can not be overlooked.

Reversed keywords: tough but fair, hard, brutal, austere, rugged, severe, stern

Their Thoughts

The High Priestess

The woman on this card is the wife of the Pope of tarot land. Of course the Pope is known as the Hierophant in tarot. She holds the Tora scroll and is regarded as the keeper of the female side of the secrets of creation. Obviously she is not to be trusted.

She is crowned with an Egyptian moon goddess head dress and she has the moon at her feet. There are strong connotations to the female reproductive cycle, and disturbingly obvious oral implications.

This card shows a woman who has no consideration for the sanctity of marriage and will perform and/or accept immoral favors at the drop of a few coins. She holds a sensual mystique that can overpower a man's senses and make him guilty of ungodly things.

Upright keywords: devious, manipulation, hypnosis, knowledge of evil, seduction, mystery


Your Emotions

The Moon

The gate of sunset seems to be the setting for a long dark path. This card is another bad omen. It shows a treacherous road if evolution from the point of view of a low life lobster. The ridiculous ideas of evolution that are suggested by this card are meaningless. A lobster will never evolve into a human being no matter how much time passes.

A dog and a wolf show that man's best friend is sort of a creation of creative breeders, so maybe evolution makes a small amount of sense. They are trying to suggest here that man is equal to God though and this is evil. The crusty crustacean will not make it up the mountains. It will naturally sink back to the slimy abyss that spawned it. This is where the nasty thing belongs.

Upright keywords: uncertain, unknown, dark, scary, dismal, gloomy, impromptu, on the fly

Their Emotions

3 of Pentagrams

The crafter from the 8 of Pentagrams is at work in the temple. He decorates the satanic ritual chamber. His work is overseen by 2 strange authority figures, a monk and a man wearing an entertainer's robe. His robe of lust is covered with lipstick stains, a clue about his secret side job. The rise of satanism has opened the door to all manner of debauchery.

Servants of the devil stand in mockery of the church. They mimic the same symbols that represent all that is good, a method of hurling childish insults at God. This card is the gate of temple of the devil. Evil men carry out their plan to open the gates of Hell.

The artisan puts the final touches on the gates. Proud devil worshippers direct the construction of the ultimate abomination. It is a sign of the times, how Satan has gained a foothold on the world by establishing his own church. God help us all.

Upright keywords: trade, skilled labour, craft, aristocracy, renown, glory, barter, work in progress


Your Facade

5 of Wands

Only 5 ranks into the suit of Wands, mankind has already ensured its own downfall. Instead of turning the other cheek and loving their neighbors, man seeks vengeance as a source of pleasure. His lust for blood culminates in war, which is what we have here. This is the card of war and aggression.

What has actually happened is that man has avoided the LORD's commandments and forsaken His wisdom. The LORD knows that man's nature is perpetually evil, which is why He keeps warning us. Here the problem is that things have gone too far. Too many men are now opening the gates of hell, to the point where it even seems to become commonplace.

The competion has actually gotten so fierce that bedlam has erupted. Chaos ensues in an apocalyptic battle where it's every man for himself. This card means there is a big fight in the position it appears in the spread.

Reversed keywords: dispute, trickery, contradiction, hypocracy, cheating, bribery

Their Facade

3 of Wands

With 3 wands, long staffs here, the guy in this card dares to set up a ceremonial ritual for the devil. He sets up the 3 staffs in a way as to form a doorway. He goes into character as the devil's mime, and his insane intentions are to open this imaginary door, which is in his reality a gateway to hell.

The guy in this card has become adept at black magic and should be avoided by all who wish to remain pure. He has become a master of illusion and corruption as the third rank of the suit of Wands. He has become like the devil himself, and holds the power of temptation because he has the power to manipulate reality, though he is only a legend in his own mind.

Still, the position that this card falls is a strong indicator of where the devil has sent a powerful warlock to do his bidding. The thing about conspiracy though is that it's done quietly so that it is sometimes hard to notice. Whatever position of a spread that gets this card is in peril of having all hell break loose.

Upright keywords: established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery

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